When You Get the Runs on a Run – Fan Submission

So I was running with my squad down Kentucky Ave at Ft Campbell. We get a mile out and I realize I have a bubble in my gut region, I assume all will be ok. We get two miles or so out and the bubble as moved from Defcon 1 to Defcon 2 and I started to worry a little so I stop the guys and say we are going to do a release run back the sole reason is so I can find a spot to relieve this volcano in my stomach.

This now volcano has moved to Defcon 3 and is climbing fast so as I’m running I see the 101st air assault band barracks building. At the point of entering the building im praying for a CQ to telepathically know I’m about to go nuclear, but there was no CQ in the building anywhere.

I run down the halls looking for a bathroom and nope no bathroom anywhere all the doors are locked. At this point I’m beyond Defcon 4 the president is holding his finger over the button and it could get messy fast. I noticed their are some stairs that go down to a basement now a normal barracks would have a big wash sink but not the 101st band they live in something different.

So now I hear 10….9…. I’m in trouble I open a door and its the instrument storage room 7…..6….. I run to the corner of the room 5….. 4…… Drop my pants 3…… 2….. And well let’s just say it wasn’t pretty. So I look around and think what the FUCK did I just do….. yes you just took a shit in the Division Band instrument storage room!!!!! I open a saxophone case looking for paper I grab some sheet music and wipe. So now I left with do I clean this up or say fuck it……. Well there’s a reason why I waited to tell this story after I retired.

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