Scores of Fort Bliss soldiers arrested during wild party

With breaking news, we go live to José who’s reporting from Ft. Bliss. José, what’s going on down there?

Si, this is José. I down here at the Dirty Dorito at 2BCT, 1 AD, where it appears that several, ok I no lie, about a squadron’s worth of people participated in a scene ripped straight from Animal House.

Almost 200 Soldiers participated in this party extraordinaire , not to mention the local civvies looking for some BAH and chill. Unfortunately things happened, the 5-0 was called and when the dust settled over 80 Soldiers from 1-1 Cav, 2nd Brigade had been arrested by El Paso’s finest (donut eaters) along with several local senoritas young enough to not have a quinceañera done for them yet (younger than 15 for you gringos).

In classic army style, there was a mass ASU inspection this morning because everybody needs some mass punishment to go along with their Monster. Their regularly scheduled day off? Adios! Getting off at 1700? Nah that shit ain’t happening. Oh and they still looking for that guidon too! (HINT: 13RCR6632924632) I hear they called Tom Brady for some pointers. Can you deflate a guidon? I thought it was only Soldier’s morale.

Will 1-1 Cav shake it off in time for their NTC rotation? Or will the hangover still be kicking when they rumble into the RUBA. Stay tuned to USAWTFM for more reports. This is José signing off.