We all know that one guy…

This story takes place in circa ’07. It’s the dead of night in ole FOB Abad… in the middle of the summer… stupid hot.

So here enters Pvt S. Now a little back story, I’ve known this high speed fuck up since Day 0 at Sill (I was his PG), through airborne school and first duty station. Pvt S was that guy we all know. Forced to take a shower once, piss bottles in the locker, which carried over to full 2 litter piss bottles under his bed in Europe. (The damn bathroom was just outside is door.) Uniform was always destroyed. Said and I quote “The reason I joined was to have a vacation.” So there you have it….Ok, back to it… so by now you know we’re cannon cockers.

That night, sitting in the B-hut we get the familiar three call “FIRE MISSION” over the headset and we do what we do, drop everything and haul ass to the gun. (This call ended up being a T.I.C.) As we get to the ready hut we see Pvt S curled up in the corner, in the fetus position rocking back and forth like he had just been bitch slapped by a no arm midget that just disappeared on him.

Chief makes his way in and says something like “S!!! We gotta fire mission get your gear.” Pvt S immediate reply was to start rocking even harder and says “Help me Jesus… Help me Jesus I’m too high…. help me.” This went on for sometime but obviously we couldn’t stick around to watch his ass get handed to him by the commander, there’s a T.I.C.

So we did our thing and laid down a glorious shake n bake. Come back and Pvt S is gone to the medics. Next day came around and found out a few guys had bought a brick of hash from a local and tried to smoke all the evidence…that same night. Didn’t get kicked out, just moved to another gunline. In all, out of 7 guys that did it, only one got kicked out because he admitted smoking. Everyone else waited for the piss test which came back negative.